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Wooden Sticks was AWESOME! Full review later.

- BC 

The Valleywoods Cup came into play for the first time this year, as defending champion Dennis Davis brought the coveted cup to Seaton GC. The game? Most improved score after last week. With BC hitting a 100, Boom-Boom hitting an 83 and Texas hitting a 107, no one improved their scores at all… and thus the champion retains. Den’s addition to the Cup? Astroturf at the golfer’s feet. Nice!

Tomorrow’s course is Wooden Sticks, which I’m really looking forward to. It’s going to hand me my ass, but I’m going to let that go and just have a blast. I’ll be joined by Boomer, Lukey “Aces” Israel and Amir “The Dromodir” Rahmani. We got a great deal there from the Golf Show, by the way: two meals [breakfast and lunch], cart, a Wooden Sticks wind shirt and a round for $140. Not bad! An “Ontario Golf Course Rating” and some “Croucher’s Local Knowledge” to follow, kids.

Avoid the clap,

- BC 

Yes, the first round of the season is overwith and done for. Cold, wet, windy and any other superlative you want to add to weather that defines it as shitty.

As mentioned, played the South course at Deer Creek today with the BC, but sans Lukie. Could of used his green painted boat today, but there you have it.

First shot in anger today was a fat 5 wood that drifted right, but recovered nicely with a solid 5 iron to about 21 yards.

the BC had a 101 today, and even if he isn’t happy with it, and let’s face it, why would you be? he played some very good shots today, and playing with his PureFit DC Tour 450 today for the first time outside, he, in my opinion, hit it solidly. He also had some very nice shots towards the latter part of the round with the Nike Sasquatch 3 Wood.

He, I feel, had a solid start to the season and can build on several things from today.

I, on the other hand, played ok, wasn’t overly great off the tee, but hit some good approach shots, and didn’t skink any wedges off to the right.

We had a GPS in the cart today, and that was nice as it gave you yardages right to the pin, whether front back or middle, but as it was cart paths today, you only could get a rough idea. We also put the SkyCaddie SG2 into play today which gave us on the spot yardages to both the targets, and to the center. Really liked this tool, and look forward to getting some more use out of it as the season progresses.

So, all in all, a good first outing, the crappy weather notwithstanding.

Till we meet again,

Windmills ho!!

Boom-boom

Yes G.O.L.F. fans, the season is upon us. A time to start fresh, to experience those terrific highs, and after your first tee shot, those crushing lows, knowing that you just blew your best chance to have a great summer.

Just kidding. The highs don’t come. Only the lows. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

We tee it up, the BC and I, along with Lukies boat is painted green, at 7:28 this Sunday at Deer Creek South. A review will come post round, along with a synopsis of the days events, and how we liked my new Sky Caddie. I have heard good things about this tool, so only time will tell.

So, off we ride (or walk) into the breach of a brand new season of golfing adventures. the BC and I plan on playing several different courses this year, so plan on seeing some photographic evidence of same. Also, we plan (well I plan, and will take BC along for the ride) on getting an OGA handicap this year. Postings of the numbers will follow.

Till then,

Practice hard, hit it where you aim, and watch out for the windmills.

Boom-boom.

[From Tin Cup, after Dave Simms refuses to attempt a 250 yard shot over a water hazard:]

Roy ‘Tin Cup’ McAvoy: “Fifteen years on the tour an’ you’re still a fuckin’ pussy.”
Dave Simms: “Thirteen years on the driving range and you still think this game is about your testosterone count.”

Yeah. Tin Cup’s a great sports movie, baby. Somewhat topically, this little exchange took place on the golf course today:

Croucher: “Are you wearing the hat that you wear, or the hat that you wear after you’re done wearing it?”
Me: “Well, I’m wearing it, aren’t I?”

It’s not Cup, but it’s funny. Kevin was referring to the fact that I have two matching hats: one that I wear on the course, and an identical one I wear after I’m done playing the round. My hats tend to get pretty sweat-covered out there, and I like a clean, sweat-free hat after the round to cover my head.

But it got me thinking about personalized golf lingo, which is the point of this post. My foursome has a number of “inside joke” sayings that I’ll share with you here now.

“You gonna Kevin Costner this, or Don Johnson it?” Kevin Costner’s character in the aforementioned flick – Roy ‘Tin Cup’ McAvoy- always goes long whenever he can, and never lays up in front of the water or a gap. Don Johnson’s character, Dave, always plays it safe by laying up. Our turn of phrase, therefore, is asking which one the other guy’s going to try and pull off.

“You or me, Dave?” Also from Tin Cup. This is something that Amir and I started doing a few years ago. At one point in the film, both Roy and Dave are pretty much equal distance from the hole, and Roy’s asking which one of them is further [and therefore going first]. The correct response to this is to point at oneself; it’s really more of an invite for the other guy to hit first when your balls are close in distance more than it is an actual question. Kevin likes to reply to this with the classic response of “Dave’s not here man”, which I allow only because Cheech Marin is involved in both bits.

“Marshal? Can you please move these people back? Because I’m coming right through here.” Costner’s in a woooded area, and is going to bank a shot off a Port-A-Potty to get back on the fairway. We generally use this phrase when making a difficult shot from the woods.

“Skinner? You’re an odd fellow, but you steam a good ham.” That’s a Simpson’s reference, and pops out when someone has said or done something odd. Superintendent Chalmers quips it to Principal Skinner.

“Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-galunga.” Caddyshack, baby. I don’t know what the hell it means, but it’s funny.
“You have to hit it, Susan.” Leaving a putt short will often elicit this phrase from another. Alternate favourites are “Next time, try hitting it with your purse” and “Great putt. Does your husband play golf?” My favourite variation comes from Dennis, though, who will just yell “SUSAAAANNN!” at himself sometimes when he doesn’t putt hard enough.

***

PARTING SHOT: Kevin and I hit Seaton today, and I had a horrid 103. It was, however, the best 103 I’ve ever had. The clubs were singin’, and if it wasn’t for one or two terrible holes I’d have been alright. Kevin didn’t have a great day either, but the weather was nice and we had a blast. Go to Seaton, will you? It’s fun.

- BC

Carl Spackler, Caddyshack: “So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? ‘Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-galunga’. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”